Film Review - Friends With Kids

I was expecting to sneer cynically along with this film after its initial setup, but instead came out feeling like I'd been hugged for two hours. For me, the best romcoms/romdrams say something recognisable about true love, and this one pays that off nicely. Acutely observed and immensely enjoyable, if possibly a little too neatly wrapped up.

Film Review - Red Tails

Based on a true story that is as infuriating as it is inspiring, this film features an impressive cast of familiar, mostly black, faces and some spectacular scenes of aerial combat.
Unfortunately, it also comes with leaden dialogue, paper-thin characterisations and clichés galore.
It's by no means a waste of your time, but in as much time you'll have probably forgotten all about it.

Film Review - Snow White and the Huntsman

Blimey, that was tedious, even with a half-hour nap. A half-star for the visual effects and another for the dwarfs. Why on Earth would anyone cast Kristen Stewart as the girl who radiates light and life? Even under ageing makeup Charlize Theron's beauty surpasses hers. Avoid.

Film Review - Men In Black 3

After a few years away, Will Smith is back, and is reviving one of his big franchises in the process. Unfortunately, there seems to be a general consensus of "meh", possibly down to the disappointing preceding sequel. However, fans of the first need worry not, as the franchise is back on track.
Things don't begin well. We're introduced to the film's (rather dreadful) big bad, Boris, in an escape scene that is oddly lacking in any sense of drama or excitement, involving a rather baffling cameo from Nicole Scherzinger. This is followed by a funeral for Rip Torn's character "Z" that is played for laughs- but is the first of many jokes that fall flat. It's soon business as usual, as we get the obligatory alien gorefest, this time in NY Chinatown. But all of this is before the plot properly kicks in and, once it does, things begin to look up.
The film truly comes alive once we meet "young" Agent K, played phenomenally well by Josh Brolin. His Tommy Lee Jones impression is spot-on to the point of Oscar-worthy (as if they'd honour such a role). Will Smith's acting has come a long way in the intervening decade, and he's looking uncomfortable in the somewhat childish, wise-cracking role. But of course, Smith's Agent J only really works when playing against the deadpan Agent K, so even though he's a new actor to the franchise, it's only now that Brolin had appeared that we finally feel back in familiar, comfortable territory.
Another interesting addition to the cast of quirky characters is the utterly bizarre, but fascinating Griffin (A Serious Man's Michael Stuhlbarg), an alien who can see all possible outcomes in any situation. He proves to provide a lot more than exposition, and makes for surprisingly enjoyable company.
One of the biggest gripes about blockbusters- especially sequels- is plot and character development. Well, this film has both, in spades. A lot of the jokes that fell flat earlier are actually set-ups for character moments that pay off later; some are of little significance, others prove rather profound. One thing I was not expecting from MiB3 was an emotional pay-off. But, to my pleasant surprise, I received one.

Film Review - Prometheus (in 3D)

The "Alien" prequel that isn't an "Alien" prequel, this has been my most eagerly-anticipated film of the year. I've managed to avoid pretty much everything about it, so did it disappoint?
Well, to be honest, yes. If you're going to reboot a franchise, then you're obviously going to have to live up to what came before. And on pretty much every level, "Prometheus" fails by comparison.
Firstly, a crash course for the uninitiated. In "Alien", we see a giant, dead, humanoid creature (known in the fandom as a Space Jockey, here named as an Engineer) with its chest burst open. The implication is that this creature was piloting a ship that somehow picked up an alien species that has killed the crew and caused a crash landing on moon LV-426. The human crew in "Alien" answer the crashed ship's distress signal, and, unfortunately for them, encounter a field of eggs laid by the stowaway alien species. "Prometheus" gives us some more information about the history of the Engineers, but on moon LV-223 (not LV-426). So it's set in the same universe as Alien, but this isn't dealing with the same story path of the original series.
On the positive side, "Prometheus" is visually spectacular. From the opening shots of breathtaking scenery, to its hi-tech CGI gadgets and back to the familiar Giger designs from the Alien franchise. Every frame is a work of art in a way that only Ridley Scott could photograph. Whilst there are a few moments that arguably make it worthwhile, the 3D is mostly superfluous. There are long sections where you could probably take your glasses off and miss very little.
The cast has its strengths- Noomi Rapace is fabulous as the intelligent, emotional core of the film (but she's no Ripley), Michael Fassbender is superbly ambiguous as android David (but he's no Bishop), and Idris Elba adds some much-needed personality to the crew as the ship's captain (but he's no Hudson).
Unfortunately, the rest of the crew bear more resemblance to the- let's generously call them- characters from the Alien Vs Predator franchise than the Alien franchise. Charlize Theron gives an icy Nicole Kidman impression as The Rich One With The Company's Interest In Mind (but she's no Burke), Guy Pearce is inexplicably cast in unconvincingly heavy prosthetics as an old man (we never see him young, so what was the point?), Logan Marshall-Green is initially charismatic as Rapace's love interest/ science partner (but he's no Hicks), then undermines himself by suddenly losing interest in his own cause, before falling victim to a rather unnecessary plot device. And it's this very device that sets the film off on the wrong tangent.
One of the most frustrating things about a lot of Hollywood movies is their instance on human intervention. In "Jurassic Park", it can't be that the dinosaurs overpower the humans, a human has to disable the security first. And in "Prometheus", we can't simply discover the origins of the Alien species, there must be some level of human interference. Yes, this is a film about creation- where did we come from, and why? Does anyone have the right to destroy a form of life it created?- but we're not allowed to just accept that the Engineers are a random alien species that simply encountered another random alien species. Heaven forbid alien life forms actually interact with other alien life forms without humans being involved in some way, shape or form.
The life cycle of the alien creature has long been established, and although it is tweaked and evolved ever so slightly in each film, the differences are subtle, but the life cycle remains. Egg, face-hugger, chest-burster, fully-grown alien. Not here. Here, it's basically rewritten, and rather than some "aaaah, that's how it started" Eureka moment, it just stinks of bullshit rewriting for the sake of it. I can accept a different evolutionary path under different circumstances, but not so profoundly in a space of 30 years.
But, these criticisms aside, I don't want to make out like I sat there hating this film on any level. I didn't. I was completely captivated for every second, even if the answers I was so eagerly anticipating turned out to be as frustrating as they were intriguing. It's basically a cross between "Alien" and the first "X Files" movie, with a bit of "2001" thrown in.
There is plenty of action and atmosphere to counteract the inaction, just unfortunately it loses the claustrophobia of the original, and there are very few genuine scares. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, slime and tentacles aren't scary. The face-hugger and Giger aliens, on the other hand, are possibly the most terrifying creations in cinema history. Don't try to reinvent the wheel, when it's as perfect as it is.

Film Review - The Raid

A hugely enjoyable, viscerally violent film, this has you on the edge of your seat, heart pounding, face wincing, eyes desperately trying to keep up with the complicated, yet beautiful fight choreography.
The action isn't quite as non-stop as many reviews claim, but the film is better for that, as whilst the plot may be slight, there is more than enough to keep you invested and interested. The cast are superb, a recognisably diverse range of faces and characters, each giving their roles their all.
The first half of the film is brutal, and the fights feel real- this isn't a case of men lining up to be knocked out with one punch- they are seriously put out of action, and are left suffering in pain on the floor for the rest of the film. Unfortunately, the second half then lets this down as it becomes more and more generic, as the film's thrills peak well before the halfway point. But it is a minor gripe as I already can't wait to see it again.
Welsh director Gareth Evans is a star in the making. Hollywood will be beating down his door with the ferocity of his characters. Part of me hopes he turns them down, and stays in Indonesia, if this is what he continues to produce.

Film Review - Dark Shadows

Tim Burton is an acquired taste. I'm frequently finding myself questioning whether or not I've enjoyed his films, and over the last decade he's gone a bit mainstream, so I've generally leaned towards the positive. However, Dark Shadows is definitely more old-school Tim Burton, and again, I can't decide if it was good or terrible. I'd have to conclude that it's a bit of both.
The production values are as high as ever, as the visuals have a unique quirkiness that only Burton can bring, including its purple-heavy colour palette and distinctive art direction. The visual effects are, at times, amazing, particularly towards the end when Eva Green's porcelain skin cracks like an egg.
Helena Bonham Carter isn't given much to do, but doesn't do it very well. Johnny Lee Miller is similarly wasted, and it's only Michelle Pfeiffer who has enough screen presence to command your attention; only to have her vampish matriarchal role virtually disappear in the final act. Chloe Grace Moretz is certainly no better or worse than she's ever been, although she's growing up fast. Eva Green's mugging become very tiring very quickly, making her look both stunningly beautiful and oddly grotesque at the same time.
As for Johnny Depp, it's fair to say he's phoning it in. Ordinarily, you can see why women would fight over him, but Tim Burton has a unique knack of desexualising one of the world's most handsome men, and does so again here. His now familiar British accent has lost both its impact and novelty value, and his acting treads the fine line between larger than life and hammy- but fortunately avoiding the latter. Just.
And yet, the whole thing is rather tedious. Very patchy in style, story, and tone, it toys with elements of horror, melodrama, comedy... But never achieves any of them. It's never less than entertaining, but does get a little tiresome as you're wondering where it's going before discovering the answer is nowhere.