Film Review - The Grey

At least... we are... ALIVE! Oops, sorry. Wrong film.

A plane crashes in the snowy Alaskan wilderness, and the few who survive are picked off one by one by the harsh climate and/or the circling wolves and/or, perhaps, each other. The result is relentlessly bleak, ridiculously cheesy, and a completely guilty pleasure.

This is definitely one of those "leave your brains behind" films that desperately tries to be credible with its zoological insight, before undermining everything with its OTT action scenes and stupid dialogue.

For example, in one scene, our intrepid survivors have been trudging for hours through deep snow, barely able to lift their feet. They are aiming for a line of trees ahead, and someone comments that the trees don't appear to be getting any closer. A wolf appears, and they are suddenly able to run on the snow like it's asphalt, and within 60 seconds are sheltering in the previously-elusive trees, the wolf apparently having given up and disappeared. It's one of those kind of films.

But I'm not going to hold that against it. Its multiple set-pieces are unquestionably successful, achieving moments of genuine tension, and even a bit of sentimentality thrown in for good measure.

There's very little going on here that's in any way original, but not since Cliffhanger nearly 20 years ago has it been this successful.

Film Review - The Descendants

Way back in 2004, I attended a London Q&A with little-known director Alexander Payne, following a screening of his forthcoming film, Sideways. I loved his previous film, About Schmidt, but found Sideways little more than okay. It was rather self-important and tedious, and I then felt a little embarrassed for the number of people telling him during the Q&A how "amazing" his film was. Little did I know the critics would agree with them, and the film went on to be nominated for five Oscars, including Best Picture, and winning for his screenplay. I still don't get it.

Forward to 2011. Payne's long-awaited follow-up, The Descendants, arrives in US cinemas. Again, the critics are impressed, and in 2012 it also receives five Oscar nominations, including Best Picture. George Clooney has always come across as a decent guy, but he has a habit of picking the kinds of films I can't stand. Let's say my hopes weren't high, but I had an open mind. Some might say it was due to my lowered expectations, but I thought The Descendants was superb.

Taking a story about the unravelling of a man's life, casting George Clooney, and setting it in the paradise of Hawai'i were all inspired decisions. Payne does a convincing job of making not only the Aloha State's islands look as mundane as they are beautiful, but "gorgeous" George too. I never found myself questioning that one of Hollywood's premier heart-throbs was anything other than a scruffy cuckold. Everything about his performance sells the character, from the temper simmering behind his eyes, to the gait of his run. You never question his desire to do the right thing, and yet event after event seems to be pushing him further and further to blow his top. His ability to remain calm and focused is never overly-saintly, all the while maintaining the audience's sympathy. This is no meant feat, believe me.

The supporting cast is worthy of a mention, too, as his two young daughters each give the perfect balance of maturity and immaturity, each having their own opportunity to tug at your tear glands. The extended family of cousins, parents, friends and rivals are nicely drawn, so nobody feels like a one-dimensional plot device, but all are characters in their own right.

It won't be to everybody's tastes, as ultimately nothing really happens. But I found it a hugely pleasant way to pass two hours, and would happily do so again.

Film Review - The Darkest Hour (in 3D)

I honestly thought a film about invisible aliens invading Moscow sounded quite fun. I was so very, very wrong. I've always found Emile Hirsch a rather likeable screen presence, so when the first line out of his mouth made me wish for his character's death, I began to suspect this may not be as fun a ride as I'd hoped. It turns out he's actually one of the film's "good guys", and there are worse characters to come. And once they come, they do not fuck off for long enough.
There isn't really much to say about this film. The visual and sound effects are fine, and the 3D, as always, adds nothing other than fucked-up perspective. This includes birds that appear to fly through buildings and dust that blows along the floor, just below the ground. But Moscow looks nice.
The film, rather embarrassingly, ends with a set-up for a sequel (the final line is actually something like "this is just the beginning"). Fortunately, that's now about as likely to happen as this winning the Best Picture Oscar.

Film Review - W.E.

I'm a big fan of Madonna's. More for her music than her film career, but if anybody is going to see the good in a film she's co-written and directed, it's me.
Oh dear, then.
Actually, it's not quite that bad. It's gorgeous to look at; the cinematography, art direction, costumes, hair and make-up are all immaculate. Andrea Riseborough is phenomenal as Wallis Simpson, injecting her with an infectious verve by a simple glance over the shoulder, or the phrasing of an off-hand comment. Even Laurence Fox makes a decent job of reprising Colin Firth's Bertie, albeit in what is barely more than a cameo. And, of course, the Golden Globe-winning end credits song, performed by Her Madgesty herself, is rather lovely. Erm, did I mention the cinematography?
The story involves a rather dull woman, Wally- played by a dreadfully wooden Abbie Cornish- who, in 1998, becomes inexplicably obsessed with Wallis Simpson. As she plods through her miserable little life, her mind wanders off to the life of her idol, and we get random flashbacks of Wallis's developing relationship with Edward, Prince of Wales. Unfortunately, this 1998 story is exceptionally dull. Bad relationships exist, but Wally's relationship with her husband pushes credibility a bit far, as there appears to be no reason at all why these two would still be together. Every time the film flashes forward to this section, it grinds to a halt, and you're longing to be whisked away again. Permanently. It improves slightly as she befriends a "Russian intellectual" security guard at Sotheby's, but don't expect to be swept away by romance.
The Wallis/Edward sections are more successful, although their episodic nature is frustrating to watch. The story makes significant leaps where I would have preferred to see the filled-in gaps. This film is as much about Wallis & Edward as The Iron Lady is about Thatcher's political life.
Madonna's direction is confident and stylish, but there are times where more is less. Lots of close-ups, headlines, jewellery, jump-cuts, slo-mo... Sometimes, a scene just needs to play out. Madonna appears to suffer from ADD (or at least assume her audience does) as no shot seems to be held for longer than ten seconds. She has much to be proud of here, but ironically would likely have been more successful had she not tried so hard.

Film Review - Margin Call

Greed, it turns out, isn't quite so good after all. 

With the world on the brink of economic collapse, a rather timely film has been made to show us how this sort of thing happens. Well, sort of.

We get something of an after-the-fact account of a bank that has just discovered it has gambled too much, at too high a risk, and is due to implode. They decide, therefore, to sell off their debt-ridden assets as though they have value, to minimise the damage; the catch being that it will actually destroy the entire economy, rather than just the company. To paraphrase Jeremy Irons's character, "It's happened before, and it'll happen again. We can't help ourselves."

So this isn't so much an education on the banking crisis, what we actually have here instead is a pretty decent edge-of-the-seat thriller. The star-studded cast are all excellent, although Jeremy Irons and Paul Bettany do appear to suffer from the increasingly-familiar Wandering Accent Syndrome. The script is clear enough to follow, even if the specifics of complex economics are over your head (as they are mine).

Since the film ends before any kind of tax-payer bail-out would have occurred, the full implications of their actions are only hinted at. Even though we know these people are the enemy of civilization, the film does a pretty decent job of humanising them, and you may even find yourselves rooting for them, come the opening of trading. Fingers are pointed, bucks are passed, jobs are lost, promotions are made, and by the end it's difficult to know who's to blame anymore. The most accurate answer, of course, is all of them.

Film Review - J. Edgar

Much like The Iron Lady, this is one of those political biopics that's generated interest more for its central performance than story or plot. And I'm someone who finds Leonardo DiCaprio, like Tom Cruise, rather samey as an actor. Sometimes his performance is acclaimed, sometimes it isn't, and I usually can't tell the difference. Here, at last, I have seen a unique range in his performance that does stand out; and I do mean in a good way.
I've always found ageing makeup problematic in movies, as it's frequently unconvincing to the point where it's distracting. Here, the makeup on DiCaprio is noticeable, but believable, and I believe a lot of that is down to DiCaprio's performance. Old man Edgar moves and talks differently to young man Edgar. Armie Hammer, on the hand, demonstrates his acting inexperience here, as his "old man" is never convincing, despite his best efforts. I can't put my finger on what Hammer's doing wrong- I just know DiCaprio's got it right.
That said, whilst J. Edgar is certainly a better film than The Iron Lady, on a performance level, DiCaprio's doesn't even come close to Streep's.
In my opinion, a biopic is successful if it's told you the story of someone's life in a way that leaves you feeling like an authority on the subject. However, J. Edgar left me with an urge to Google. It seemed to assume I already knew who he (and several of his colleagues) were, and, mostly, I didn't. That may be down to my own lack of education, but surely any film needs to establish its characters on its own? I've certainly come to expect better from Clint Eastwood in recent years.

Film Review - War Horse

I will not cry. I will NOT cry. I WILL NOT CRY. Oh, damn you, Spielberg!
War Horse has divided critics; some claim it is Spielberg's best in years, and one of the best films of the year, others claim it's blatantly sentimental. The truth is, they're both valid arguments.
It's definitely Spielberg's best in years, but it doesn't take much to beat Indy 4, and Tin Tin felt twice as long as this, despite being much shorter. Gorgeous to look at, it has some truly stunning sequences, and from the moment the horse is cornered by a tank, the film takes off to another level, especially emotionally. Unfortunately, this comes at least two-thirds into the film, up until when it's been a rather plodding, clichéd watch.
Consisting of various vignettes as the horse moves from person to person, country to country, some are more successful than others, and regrettably the most tedious are also the longest. One in particular involving a girl and her grandfather is especially grating, largely due to the dreadful performance from the girl with a French accent straight out of 'Allo 'Allo.
She's not alone. Newcomer Jeremy Irvine, who plays the boy who trains and raises the horse, is little more than acceptable. It is largely due to his somewhat stiff performance that the first half of the film didn't resonate with me emotionally, and even the mighty Peter Mullan as the boy's father is given little more to do than hold back drunken hiccups.
Familiar faces come and go, and the story progresses in a way that's easy to follow and never boring, although there are moments that feel shockingly incompetent for someone of Spielberg's calibre.
But just as you've written the film off, the final acts grabs hold of you and shakes you until you cry. And once you start, you won't stop. You know how the final moments play out long before they happen, but there is emotionally something satisfying in that.

Film Review - Shame

Having made a rather big splash at the festival circuit last year, expectations have been high for this, as critics have been falling over themselves to sing its praises. However, a gritty British drama about sex addiction in New York is going to be something of a hard sell to a mainstream audience. No pun intended.
Much has been made of the explicit nature of its sex scenes, but anybody expecting to be titillated will be sorely disappointed. Yes, Michael "tripod" Fassbender has the kind of body that most men can only dream of, and there's more than enough female nudity to equal it, but to say it doesn't glamourise sex is an understatement. The emphasis isn't so much on the sex as it is on the addiction; the way an obsession can control you, and the detrimental effect it can have on your life and relationships.
This is a film that says more in its silence than it does in its dialogue. Its pace is carefully measured, and yet you still find yourself hoping that a central character can sort himself out, despite his having demonstrated some hugely unsympathetic behaviour, particularly towards his sister.
The film's conclusion is perfect- nicely circular and ambiguous enough to open up discussion- and this is the film's greatest strength. The more you talk about it, the better you realise it is. I'd recommend seeing it with somebody, but a date movie this is not.

Film Review - The Artist

Can a silent movie about the end of silent movies be relevant to a modern audience? No surround sound, no technicolor, no widescreen...? The answer is a resounding yes.
Cinema at its best is about keeping your eyes glued to the screen- whether you're looking at something beautiful, exciting, impressive, amusing, involving, emotional... Well, looking away is not an option here, but fortunately it has all of the above anyway.
From the off, Jean Dujardin is an utterly compelling screen presence. He has the requisite old-school looks, charm and sheer physical presence; conveying drama, humour and some pretty nifty footwork in the process, without coming across overly hammy (unless required). Berenice Bejo is just as captivating as the usurping new star Peppy Miller, beaming from the screen with an irresistible radiance.
But their symbiotic relationship is greater even than the sum of its parts. Their chemistry is palpable, and as the same forces that bring them together tear them apart, it leads to some genuinely edge-of-the-seat (and surprisingly dark) moments.
If I had a criticism, it might be that I didn't quite feel as emotional a connection as I would have liked, but that's not to say I wasn't wholly invested throughout.
And yes, the dog absolutely steals the show.

Film Review - Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

Basically more of a rehash of (rather than a sequel to) the over-rated 2009 film, I was unsure as to how I felt about the original and this has nicely cleared up matters.
I'm finding the Holmes/Watson relationship irritatingly smug (in a George Clooney/Brad Pitt in Ocean's 11 kind of way), and the oneupmanship between them (and again with Irene Adler) is extreme to the point where it actually doesn't make any sense. Considering these are people who supposedly have affection for each other, they seem more than happy to put each other in life-threatening situations. But of a laugh, innit? Well, no. It's repetitive, tedious, and complete bollocks.
Guy Ritchie's visual style is getting rather tired now. Sherlock, the supposed sleuth, spends far more time shooting and fighting in slow motion than he does doing any kind of actual sleuthing.
I'm as bored writing about it as I was watching it. I'm done. If there's a third one, I won't be attending.

Film Review - The Iron Lady

Suspension of disbelief is frequently essential for cinematic enjoyment. I am willing to believe that a man can fly. Or that a man can become genetically spliced with a fly. But that Margaret Thatcher has a conscience? That's a stretch too far.

I was setting myself up to be angry at this film for humanising a woman who is largely perceived as one of Britain's greatest villains (or heroines, should you not remember the 1980s). However, I did not quite get what I expected. The film was hugely disappointing for completely unpredicted reasons.

This film is not to be thought of as a biopic of Margaret Thatcher. It isn't. Yes, it covers important moments in her career, via largely chronological flashbacks, as well as selected reactions to her decisions- both reconstruction and archive news footage. But approximately 50% of the film is just a lonely old woman pottering about the house, talking to her dead husband or lying awake in bed. In short, it's exceptionally dull, and unnecessarily so. Minutes are wasted while she butters toast, walks across a room, or washes a teacup. It doesn't make her any more human or vulnerable, and grinds the film's pace to a near crawl.

From a directorial standpoint, it's all very well-made, and a far more serious cinematic experience than you may expect from the director of "Mamma Mia!". But don't expect to get much of an education regarding her rise/fall to/from power. You'd be better off hunting down old episodes of Spitting Image.

Neither her son Mark, ally Norman Tebbitt, nor her most fervent political opponent Neil Kinnock make much of an appearance (if at all). We are treated to Olivia Colman's (surprisingly accurately voiced) Carol Thatcher- though I'll forever be disappointed that they didn't go for the obvious choice of Monty Python's Terry Jones.

Which brings us to the real point of all this- Meryl Streep. 30 years since her last Oscar win, she's averaged one nomination every other year. This year will be no exception. Streep doesn't merely do a good impression of Margaret Thatcher. She becomes Margaret Thatcher. And in a way that feels completely genuine, unlike Michelle Williams's gimmicky Marilyn Monroe in "My Week With Marilyn". Once or twice I must admit I did get a slight Jennifer Saunders vibe, but the performance (in particular the accent) never slips for a moment.

Fortunately, the film doesn't make any attempt to change minds. Whatever you felt about Thatcher beforehand, you'll likely feel as you come out. I certainly felt my blood increasingly boil as the film neared its end. I'm just disappointed that it didn't end with a fade to black and the caption, "...and she's still fucking alive."

Film Review - Puss In Boots

For me, the Shrek movies have been something of an over-rated phenomenon. The introduction of Puss In Boots did improve matters at first, but he has been a very one-note character; He's a badass Zorro, but sooooo cuuuuute... And that's it. So my hopes weren't high for this spin-off movie. And yet, somehow, it's fantastic.
The character is nicely fleshed out here, with a decent backstory and a truly emotional journey involving a childhood friendship with Humpty "Alexander" Dumpty. From the off, the comedy beats are spot-on. Western clichés are turned on their head, dramatic moments comically undermined by Puss's cat traits, and some superbly choreographed dancing and fighting.
Antonio Banderas has the perfect voice for such a smooth character and Salma Hayek proves to be more than a pretty face, giving Puss a credible rival/love interest in the equally intriguing Kitty Soft Paws.
The Shrek franchise may well have run its course, but I suspect that Puss may still have a few of his nine lives left to share with us.

Film Review - Goon

Violence. Proper blood-letting, tooth-removing, coma-inducing violence. Isn't it hilarious?
What happens when you find yourself quite enjoying a film, yet you utterly despise everything it stands for? Can a hateful message stop a good film being a good film? Even if I give "Goon" the benefit of the doubt, I'll certainly never look at professional ice hockey with any form of respect ever again.
The basic principle of this film is that a man is hired as a hockey player because he can fight. Very efficiently. And not only does nobody have a problem with this, he's an idol to millions, including children. And the girl he's interested in already has a boyfriend. But I guess that's the boyfriend's issue. And this is all, supposedly, based on a true story. And played for laughs. Seriously, is it really just me that has a problem with this?
Casting Seann William Scott is something of a master stroke. He has a proven history demonstrating that he has more than enough charm to get away with playing characters who should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves. And he pulls it off again.
I can't deny I was hooked, but if it's any consolation, I feel thoroughly ashamed of myself for it. I just wish the film-makers (not to mention real-life counterparts) did too.

Film Review - The Lady

Michelle Yeoh first came to my attention as the kick-ass Bond girl in Tomorrow Never Dies, and ever since I have followed her amazing career in both Asian and Hollywood movies. Luc Besson achieved huge success with his kick-ass movies such as Leon and The Fifth Element, as well as producing The Transporter franchise. So these two have joined forces to bring us... a biopic of Aung San Suu Kyi, the Burmese Gandhi. And I, for one, am so pleased they did. Somehow, her amazing story has passed me by, but it is as inspirational as it is tragic.
Besson must be given credit for allowing the story to unfold in a way that genuinely creates tension, and doesn't take anything for granted. Should you know Suu's story, it must be remarkable to see how the situation occurred. However, if, like me, you had never heard of her, you're in for a real education and a devastating emotional journey.
Michelle Yeoh has never been better, imbuing Suu with a sincerity and grace, her performance having a subtlety that tears at your heart. You never question a single moment, look, gesture, comment, and don't ever feel like you're watching somebody Acting, with a capital A.
Unfortunately, the same can't be said for the rest of the cast. David Thewlis is limp and insipid as her British husband, never truly demonstrating any form of sincerity in his affection for his wife. The vast supporting cast are even worse, clearly comprised of relative newcomers and/or amateurs- that's certainly how they come across, anyway.
Much like The Iron Lady, the focus of this film's attention is on the lead female performance, and I honestly couldn't say who did the better job. However, THIS, Phyllida Lloyd, is how you tell the story of a powerful female political figure.

Film Review - The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2011)

Two years ago, one of my favourite films of the year was The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. This year, an almost identical movie has been released again. Had I not seen the original Swedish version, this English-language version may well have had the same effect. But, for some reason, it didn't. Therefore, I'm finding it difficult to judge this as a film in its own right without comparing both versions.
David Fincher is certainly a superior visual director, and I can't honestly say Rooney Mara has done a notably worse job than Noomi Rapace as feisty lead Lisbeth. Nor Daniel Craig as Blomqvist, for that matter. But the pacing here felt a lot slower, I didn't find myself as impressed with Lisbeth as I was first time around, and her relationship with Blomqvist didn't feel quite as genuine.
However, there are a few substantial differences between the two versions here and there, most notably the outcome of the central mystery. And I certainly don't want to give the impression that this is in any way a bad film- it's a great film, because it's a great story and I highly recommend seeing it if you haven't seen either version. Be warned, it does touch on some sensitive areas and has a few brutal moments that can be difficult to watch.

Film Review - Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

It's been a while, but Tom Cruise is back. And by "back", I mean "BACK!" Forget "Knight & Day" (I'm sure you already have), all is forgiven as we get what is quite possibly the best film of the M:I franchise so far.
Pixar contributor Brad Bird's live action debut turns the action and tension up to 11. In the process, it also manages to wring out the best performances for years from its stars. Tom Cruise and Simon Pegg get to play to their strengths, and even double-Oscar nominee Jeremy Renner gets his best role so far, demonstrating why he has been lined up to replace Matt Damon in the forthcoming Bourne film.
We have now become so blasé to big-screen set-pieces that when something happens and you find yourself actually shouting an expletive aloud, you know a film has done something impressive.
Taking the best elements of all of the previous films, this raises the bar for action movies once more, and reminds us why Tom Cruise was such a huge star- and might be again.