Film Review - The Master

Sometimes a film just speaks to you. You can’t explain it, neither to yourself, nor to others. When you describe it, you’d seen things others didn’t. Sometimes you see complexity, something recognisible, or a mystery you’re intrigued to decipher. But sometimes you sit there staring at the screen, baffled as to how anybody can find this self-indulgent wank interesting.
Welcome, then, to the world of film-maker Paul Thomas Anderson.
His films have a huge following, especially with the likes of film critics, film students and Academy members. “Magnolia”, “There Will Be Blood”, “Punch-Drunk Love”… Of these, only the latter spoke to me, and when it did, it was quite profound. “The Master”, however, is his most incaccessibly wanky yet, and never captured me for a second. Many critics have fallen over themselves for this, and yet many of the same critics have scoured desperately for a reason why. It's as though they didn’t get it, but feel they must have missed something, and seem to be convincing themselves after the fact, rather than getting carried away by the film, or- heaven forbid- admit it confused them. I beg to differ. I can tell you exactly why I loved “Punch-Drunk Love” and can go on endlessly as to why I didn’t love this.
For example, the central lead performance from Joaquin Phoenix is very much that; a performance. The way he spoke, walked, carried himself, smiled, reacted- was all very measured and considered, whether it was small or large. And not for one second did I believe I was watching an actual human being reacting to a situation. I was very much aware that I was watching an actor Act. With a capital “A”. It’s an approach that worked for Daniela Day Lewis, who picked up his second Oscar for Anderson’s “There Will Be Blood”, and I’m pretty sure it’s Joaquin’s turn. But to my tastes, that kind of acting belongs on a stage- preferably a pantomime-, but not in a movie.
That’s just the tip of the iceberg. There is a complete lack of story, interesting characters, realistic interactions or realistic relationships, as well as literally gratuitous nudity (female only, of course). Why anybody would be intrigued by the pseudo-intellectual musings of Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s character is lost on me, and never did I believe any of the characters were searching for answers anyway.
Whereas as “Punch-Drunk Love” was a film I loved, but wouldn’t necessarily recommend to anyone else, why anybody would enjoy “The Master” is a complete mystery to me, and I don't see how or why anybody would recommend it to anyone.